The Talks You Should Have With Your Spouse When Having A Baby

When you’re talking to your spouse about having a child, it’s important not only to decide if you want kids, or how many you might want, but how you’re going to orient your life when they’re added to the picture. A happy life after marriage is all about collaboration and cooperation, so here we’re going to look at how you can make sure that you can fit kids in the picture as a team, rather than going through it alone as two individuals.

Getting through the pregnancy together
First of all, you should make sure that the two of you come up with a baby plan so that you’re better able to handle the months leading up to the moment you welcome your child to the world. Make sure that you’re handling things as a team, now, so that you’re better prepared to work together after they are born, as well. This includes attending prenatal visits together, getting familiar with your hospital’s obstetrics unit and nursery, and laying out a physical birth plan as to how you’re going to handle the big day as a team. While you might be the one giving birth, that doesn’t mean that your spouse won’t have some duties, too.

Your approach to your career
One topic that is way too often left undiscussed until the moment it becomes a pressing issue is the question of your job and career during and after you have your baby. It may be safe to assume that you’re going to take maternity leave if you’re currently employed, but have you talked about your partner taking leave, as well? Furthermore, have you talked about who might 
need to take time off work to look after the baby, or how you might handle childcare costs and needs? The reality is, that the longer it goes undiscussed, the greater your chance of becoming a stay-at-home mom in the long term. That works just fine for many women, but you want to be sure that it’s what you want and that you discuss your options.

How you’re going to handle those sleepless nights
When you have a new baby, you had better be prepared for your sleep patterns to get tossed up into the air. Babies can have trouble getting to sleep at seemingly any time, and you should be aware of the 8 reasons babies fight sleep so that you can be better prepared for it. However, you might want to have some kind of rota as to who gets up to deal with the baby at night. If you’re breastfeeding, you might want to express to make sure that your spouse can feed the baby so you don’t constantly have to. Taking it in turns, or taking it on alternating nights can make sure that it’s not just on one person to constantly sacrifice their sleep.

The role of the in-laws
To some degree, you can’t really plan or expect who is going to become the community you need to help you raise your baby. You may find people stepping up in unexpected ways and being a huge assistance. However, you might want to broach the topic of your respective families when it comes to caring for the baby or babysitting them. Some people, whether due to age or health issues, might not be a good fit to look after the baby alone, and you may want to address these concerns before your partner accepts an offer without your knowledge, for instance.

Talking about parenting style
Many of your initial concerns during those first few months with your baby are going to revolve around taking care of its primary and urgent needs. Are they getting fed? Are they getting sleep? Are they safe? Are they clothed? When you fall into more of a routine with these things, however, you might start to notice that your parenting styles are beginning to develop. What’s more, you might find that you and your spouse don’t always agree on certain elements of parenting. You want to make sure that you’re routinely having talks about things like how to discipline your child, what kind of education they might have, how much screen time is going to play into their life, and so on.

A lot of parents find that when they have children, they can auto-pilot their way to managing them successfully. It’s never easy, and rarely without its share of concerns, however, so make sure that you and your partner are on the same page with how you’re going to handle it.